The Writing Center at The Evergreen State College
The Definite Article: To "Who" It May Concern
By Paul C. Whitney, a.k.a. Captain Lexicon
I don’t remember much about the argument, except that I lost by TKO.
My brother and I had a "friendly" debate several years ago about something I can’t remember and probably don’t care about any more. I responded to one of his arguments with all the pomposity I could muster: "By whom?"
The Queen herself would have applauded my use of her English, but we’re not in England and we don’t have a Queen. When my brother latched onto it, I knew I was beaten: "Whom? Whom? Did you really just say 'whom'?"
And so my downfall began.
"Yes," I responded, flashing him a seriously nasty glare for wriggling out of our argument—a debate that, I’m sure, I would easily have won. "You see, 'who' is a subject…"
But I couldn’t save my sinking ship. Though my grammar was impeccable, the situation just didn’t call for the level of formality that rolled so naturally from my tongue. The issue involves parts of speech: the subject "who" and the object "whom." A lot of people ask me how to keep the two pronouns straight. I offer them two tricks.
If you would use the subjects "he" or "she," use the subject "who." If you would use the objects "him" or "her," use the object "whom." This trick, which also applies to the words "they" and "them" gets even simpler if you note that "he" and "she" and "they" end in vowels (remember the "sometimes 'w' or 'y' rule" from second grade?), and "him," "her," and "them" end in consonants.
An even simpler, but less foolproof trick: if there’s a preposition, use "whom."
We had to settle this. We went to my father, asking who was right. Knowing my father was better-read than the both of us combined, I crossed my arms, expecting victory and a return to our regularly scheduled dispute. My jaw plummeted away from my skull when I heard his answer:
"Really, you're both right."
I collected my wits and asked for an explanation.
"You’re right, Paul, about the 'who/whom' thing," he said, evoking a grin on my face that would not last long. He turned to my brother and said, "But you're right that in common speech, we generally don’t say 'whom.' We say 'who.' So, really, you’re both right."
So the "who/whom" argument was a tie, and I lost the original spat due to my unnecessary grammatical correctness. Heck of a day. But in grammar, as in sport, you can be 100% right by the rules and 1,000% wrong by the game.
As a reader, a writer, and a tutor, I’m no stranger to grammar and rules. In fact, I often obsess over them. It’s tough for a person like me to learn to throw the rules out and do what sounds right. That day, I learned the hard way how easy it is to draw unnecessary attention to your speech by observing formality in your language.
The fact is, we're college students writing college papers, speaking in college seminars, talking to college professors, and reading a college newspaper. Most of us know basic grammar, and if we don’t, we need to. Else, we’ll see a lot of red pen-marks from our PhD-holding professors on that paper we thought was so perfect. Else, we’ll graduate from Evergreen and mail out dozens of résumés, only to wonder why we never get an interview. And else, snobs like me will say, "You see, 'who' is a subject…"
So when you’re writing a paper, speaking in seminar, or talking to your professor, do your best with the grammar you know, be prepared to learn some you don’t, and know that you can never know it all. But when you’re chatting with your buddy about the Geoducks, don’t worry about it so much. Adjust to your audience and to the situation. Relax. I find that the less I think about grammar, the more appropriate my speech becomes. Sometimes the highest level of formality just comes out, especially when the person I’m talking to happens to hold a PhD. Sometimes I use "who" as an object, I start to carelessly split my infinitives, and I use prepositions to end sentences with. Usually, no one notices and no one cares. Gradually, I develop the intuition and confidence to know what to say and how to say it and so will you.
Now when I lose arguments, at least it’s not on a technicality.
Brought to you by the Writing Center, located in the Evergreen Tutoring Center in Cab 108, 867-6420.